Terms of Service and Privacy Policy

Terms of Service

Welcome to FreeCrowbar.com! Here's the deal:

• We reserve the right to not send you a crowbar if we just don't feel like it. No explanations needed.
• We might send you something else entirely. Could be a rubber chicken, who knows?
• This website comes with NO warranties or guarantees. If your crowbar breaks, it's on you. If it's not even a crowbar, oh well!
• We're not responsible for what you do with whatever we send you or what you do with this website.
• If we share your data and you find yourself the victim of space laser 5G EMP Havanah Syndrome mossad psyops, that isn't our motherfucking problem.
• The code contained on this website is ABSOLUTELY PROPRIETARY. Do not redistribute or you'll face the wreath of our legal department.
• By agreeing to these terms, you hereby transfer possession of your mortal soul to the operators of FreeCrowbar.com. We'll decide what to do with it later.
• REAL SHIT: The website and all content, services, and products available through it are provided on an "as is" and "as available" basis.
  To the fullest extent permitted by applicable law, freecrowbar.com makes no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, regarding the operation of the website, the accuracy or completeness of the content, or the availability of any services or products offered.
  
  Specifically, freecrowbar.com does not warrant that the website will be uninterrupted, error-free, secure, or free from viruses or other harmful components.
  No advice, results, or information obtained from freecrowbar.com or through the website shall create any warranty, guarantee, or representation of any kind, express or implied.
  
  By using this website, you acknowledge and agree that your use of the website is at your sole risk, and you assume full responsibility for any damage or loss resulting from such use.
• We reserve the right to update our Terms of Service and/or Privacy Policy at any time with or without notice

Privacy Policy

Here's how we handle your privacy:

• We reserve the right to spy on you. Yes, we want to know everything. Your data is ours now.
• We reserve the right to collect ALL your data. Every bit and byte, whether you like it or not.
• We might redistribute or sell your data. Your info could end up anywhere, from Mars to your neighbor's basement.
• We are not responsible for what others do with your data once it leaves our hands.
• By agreeing to this, you're giving us a free pass to do whatever we want with your information.
• We use Google Analytics to spy on you. By agreeing to this Privacy Policy, you also agree to Google's Privacy & Terms